#I'm gonna think about that crack au so much now it's so fucking funny

[torchstelechos]

every few days we throw the ISAT gang into a blender and see what kind of shenanigans come out i think. it's enriching.

Nod nod, I think it's fun to make them get blended into idiot smoothie with a sprinkle of angst. The enrichment for our enclosure as one would say

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | July 1st-14th 2024

Work has been kicking my ass. Can't wait for my vacation! Hope you're all doing well!!

Complete

what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh? by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Fanart, PWP | <1K | Explicit): “I'm gonna ride you,” Eddie says, flicking his wrist. “Okay, baby?” When Eddie straddles Buck's lap and sinks down, his eyes closed, he doesn’t fuck himself down onto Buck like he normally would— he wants to drag it out, tease his boyfriend untill he's a whimpering mess underneath him.

Sparks Fly by Inell/ @inell (Reporter Buck AU | <1K | Teen): Eddie meets his match when reporter Buck shadows the 118

Seeing Stars by Inell (Astronauts AU | <1K | Teen): Buck and Eddie are best friends who have been pining for a while when Buck finally makes a move.

when it all melts down by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (Post-S7, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Buck thinks a beach day is the perfect distraction from an empty house and a lack of summer plans. Eddie thinks if Buck walks out of the ocean like a Greek god one more time, he might just lose his mind. or: there’s only one cure for a frozen tongue after too much ice cream

The Moment is Here by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Eddie has been in love with Buck for longer than he cares to remember but he’s been scared to jeopardize their friendship. Lucky for him, Buck is feeling brave this morning.

i'll never give you away ('cause i've already made that mistake) by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Post-S7, Love Confessions | 3K | General): Buck almost kissed Eddie at the bachelor party and forgot about it. Until he remembered.

this postcard tells you where we've been by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7 | 3K | General): Eddie finds a collection of postcards Buck sent to Chris over his summer in El Paso.

pauses, then says you're my best friend (you knew what it was) by instantcaramel/ @buddiekinard (Social Media Fic, Post-S7 | 4K | General): buck drags eddie to a taylor swift concert. wackiness ensues.

Cursebreaker by Inell/ @inell (Post-S7, First Date | 4K | Teen): Buck is nervous about his apparent dating curse ruining his first date with Eddie. Lucky for him, Eddie doesn’t believe in curses.

A Love As True As Mine by Inell (Post-7x10: All Fall Down, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): After Buck gets injured during a call, he overcomes some personal issues and ideas of love with Eddie’s help.

One Look at You by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Eddie and Buck are enjoying a night out when lines get blurred and feelings are finally admitted.

And There You Were by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together, Fluff | 4K | Teen): After admitting their feelings for each other and spending the night together, Eddie wakes up to find Buck in the kitchen and decides to distract him. 

I Can See Clearly Now by Inell (Post-S7, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): During a simple call, Buck finds himself locked in a lab after a possible exposure with Eddie and the rest of his team on the other side of the glass doors.

Pumpkin by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 5K | General): “You were just telling us about your dog, Pumpkin. Three years old. You’re taking her to the park this weekend?” And, oh. Buck wanted to laugh. Hen thought Pumpkin was a dog. He did laugh; loud and wheezing. “Right, you’re right. Pumpkin. How could I forget?” Buck wiped a tear from his eye. He didn’t know why it was so funny, maybe he had bumped his head a little, but for some reason, Hen mistaking his three-year-old daughter for a dog was just about the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

🔥 bark like you want it by colonoscopys/ @colonoscopys (Soulmates AU, Crack | 7K | General): The first time Eddie Diaz hears his soulmate’s voice, he hears him say Damn, that’s a nice ass.

🔥 the book of love by colonoscopys (Time Loop, Getting Together | 8K | General): It was a pretty regular day. He had an eight hour shift the day before, slept in a little bit, ate dry toast and drank a black coffee before dropping Chris off at physical therapy for an hour. If he had known he was gonna die, he would have sprung for the hashbrowns in the freezer.

🔥 trying hard not to act a fool by arcanaphora (Didn't Know They Were Dating, Post-S7 | 10K | Teen): Or: 5 times Eddie jokes to Buck about marrying him + 1 time where Buck doesn't think it's very funny anymore

The heat of the moment by JamesPearce911/ @diazsdimples (PWP | 10K | Explicit): Tired and frustrated after a long shift, Buck and Eddie take an impromptu trip to the sauna. Only problem is, it's a nude sauna, which Buck didn't notice when he booked them in. Thankfully the boys handle the slip up gracefully, and possible break a few public sex laws in the process.

What if this storm ends? by JJK / @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-6x12: Recovery, Getting Together | 11K | Teen): After the lightning strike, Buck grapples with the fact that he's still alive, that he's hopelessly in love with Eddie, and that more than anything he wishes Eddie and Christopher could be his family. Too bad Eddie doesn't feel the same way, right? But then Buck chaperones Christopher's school trip and an injury shakes things up.

🔥 if i said you could never touch me by marviless/ @marviless (Established Buddie | 15K | Mature): “Buck. What’s wrong?” Buck closes his eyes, then blinks them open. “Nothing,” he says, because he doesn’t know how to tell the truth. He doesn’t know what the truth even is. “Everything’s, uh—everything’s fine. I just—” he chews on his lip. “I was just thinking that, uh, maybe we shouldn’t go any further tonight? You know, not with Christopher in the house.”

What is Love For $2000? by fayevian/ @fayevian (Canon Divergent, Jeopardy Contestant!Buck | 17K | Mature): One night when Eddie can't sleep, he discovers the hottest Jeopardy contestant of all time (objectively). With the "help" of his team and his fairly good working knowledge of Twitter, they devise a plan to get Evan (from Jeopardy) to slide into Eddie's DMs. It works surprisingly well.

🔥 keeping score by arcanaphora (Post-S7, Fake Relationship | 23K | Mature): After getting dumped, Buck is left with two tickets to a weeklong cruise. Eddie steps in to support a friend in need, but complications arise when his friend becomes his fake husband. All's fair in love, war, and trivia.

🔥 Steal My Sunshine by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Altered Memories | 30K | Mature): Memories hazy and unreliable, Eddie Diaz wakes up every morning in a house at the end of a cul de sac, goes to his office job at a petroleum engineering company, and comes home to his wife and son. But something is missing, and the more Eddie begins to put the pieces together, the stranger the predicament he finds himself in. 

🔥Anywhere I Want, Just Not Home series by Daisies_and_Briars

Pennsylvania Under Me (Future Fic, Buckley Family | 22K | Teen): When unexpected circumstances require Buck to travel back to Hershey for the first time in over a decade, Eddie and Chris are right by his side. A Lot Like You (Future Fic, Buck&Bobby | 14K | General): The dynamics between everyone change when Buck and Eddie have another child and Bobby moves on from the 118. I Hold It Like a Grudge (Buck&Maddie, Future Fic | 11K | Teen): Buck and Maddie come into unexpected and unwanted conflict when their parents meet Buck's son for the first time, by surprise, when he is under Maddie's care.

WIP

The Smutty Ones by Tizniz/ @tizniz (PWP | 56/? | 23K | Explicit): A collection of smutty Buddie drabbles.

E & E: A Buddie Drabble Collection by Tizniz (Prompt fic | 105/? | 22K | General): A collection of drabbles for Buck and Eddie.

It's Me That He's Always Choosing by I_still_dont_understand_13/ @dangerpronebuddie (Prompt fic | 20/? | 8K | Explicit): A collection of smut prompts originally posted on tumblr.

🔥 boys, when my baby found me by nondz (pinkjook) (Post-S7, Presumed Dead Eddie | 2/3 | 17K | Explicit): “It just feels… I don’t know. I feel like I’m back to being an old version of me. Like I’m— fucking— Buck 2.0 again. I can’t be good to him if I’m Buck 2.0. I know that.” Eddie frowns. “I first met you when you were Buck 2.0. And you were good to me.” Or: three months later, things are mostly back to normal. And then there's an accident.

🔥 Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 10/22 | 46K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

🔥 If You Can Make the Music by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, | 3/5 | 7K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 5 (Seaside): A year after a whirlwind two week love affair with bartender Buck in Galveston, Texas, Eddie Diaz finds himself coincidentally relocating to the area. But when he attempts to reconnect with Buck, he's in for an unfortunate surprise. (Part 3 of Coma-Verse)

🔥 you're almost home (i've been waiting for you to come in) by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Post-S5, Canon Divergent - Roommates, Getting Together | 3/5 | 18K | Mature): Buck moves in. Eddie comes out. Things get a little messy.

🔥 Long Death by Daisies_and_Briars (Post-S7, Vampire AU | 5/10 | 17K | Explicit): In the summer of 2024, a never before seen form of vampirism breaks out in Los Angeles. Just as Eddie is about to get his son back. Six months later, Buck's life is permanently changed.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 14/19 | 71K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 130/? | 408K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

[secriden]

an introduction to daouoffroad: a record (mostly for me)

so, the lovely @luthienmpl was very kind and gave me a daouoffroad starter pack so i'm gonna learn about them!

i adore finding out about something this way because it's like someone shared their love of The Thing with me! how lovely! how lucky to catch a glimpse of how much joy The Thing gives someone else!!

this is literally just random stream of consciousness thoughts as i watch the videos so i'll spare anyone who isn't interested and put it under a cut.

oh my god they met as contestants on a survival boyband show wtf!? what kind of fanfic kdrama au start is this already!?

ok damn but daou's runs tho :O <3

nooooooo offroad is crying and thanking daou for his support how dARE YOU TOY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS!? ;A;

ohmygosh is that the actress who plays P'Joy in LITA??? <3

fuck, the pressing the face into the tummy of the one standing thing. why is that so cute. ugh D:<

waitwaitWAIT is that a thing? do directors just... write stories/shows for couples who have good chemistry whatttt?? is this like a thai ent industry staple? (oh i guess mame kind of did that with fortpeat/mutrak) that's so funny omg. xDDD

laz1 is so kpop styled :O and i must add Last Kiss to my playlist imMEDIATELY its such a pretty song?? <3333

thiS BRIDGE i AM FEELING IT!?!?! DAOU WHAT IS THAT RIFF!?!??! HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SUCH A SMOOTH TRANSITION UP TO THE HIGH NOTE!? *O* <3

(was daou already an established singer before or something?? boy has pIPES!)

*faintly* d-did he try to... bite... the cat's... paw??

/SCREAMS nO THE HARMONIES yeah ok i'm a fan weLP THA TWAS QUICK

(i'm such a sucker for vocal line groups ugh dammit TwT)

wait, enlistment?? huh i did not know thailand also did that... is it the same as skorea?

oh-- oh my god he sent flowers? through his sister?? *whispers* that's so sweet ;u;

goodness, offroad literally running and jumping into daou's arms while daou is still in military fatigues-- guys this is either zero attempt at being subtle or the best cp marketing i've seen in my life wow

awww did offroad bring his graduation gown to the event just so he could get pics with daou?? that's so cute! ;A;

okAY SIR?? SIR NO the sleeping right pressed up to offroad as he pretends to snore but like daou is just paSSED OUT HALF ON TOP OF HIm NO SIR NO I CANNOT HANDLE THIS NOPE BYE

(the cut right as daou reaches up to shut offroad up had me cracking up tho, they've got a wicked sense of humour i really like them)

ahahahah the members playing along is really cute!! poor daou has to be relegated to the "jealous bf" -- this is SO interesting to watch coming out of old kpop fandom and kpop skinship to this xD like... i am enLIGHTEND *O*

*cries* what is this... poolside actual love confession proposal with rings and pLANNING to commemorate their.. working.. relationship!?!? i'm??? they are so LOUD wtf-- i'm not... used to this... !?! *incoherent noises*

sidebar: i'm struggling to get a handle on their honorifics... are they phi/nong? but sometimes dauo sounds like he's using mueng/guu when he addresses offroad directly?

ljsdfjsLfj THE FACE. IN THE TUMMY. ITS BACK <3

OH FUCK OFFROAD WITH THE ASH HAIR. *O* YEAH YEAH OKOKOK i'M NORMAL ABOUT THIS!!!!

oh oh NO did daou just push offroad to the inside of the road so he's on the outside like that's--t hat's so boyfriend coded wtf

bahahaHAHAH is offroad going on about the bracelet because now daou *has* to buy one for him? xD what a smart cookie. xDDD

wAIT DID IT WORK!? PAHAHA--

other thoughts:

pentor looks SO FAMILIAR and i can't figure out why??? ;A; is he in something else?? i'm so confused but i think i love him already WHAT AN ADORABLE DIMPLED BOI *O*

i know you included the Whats The Matter? MV but I'm sorry I'm going to live in Last Kiss for like the next 5 days especially thAT BRIDGE WTF <3

the acoustic/live version is so PRETTY omg ;A; that 3 part harmony in the first chorus *chefs kiss*

sOMEONE is doing like a really high harmony in the pre-chorus and its so thin and wispy and pRETTY ahhh <3

although also ngl i think daou needs maybe some more vocal training he sounds quite strained sometimes... and he's got a lot of tension in his throat but good GOD his range!! he's SO talented wtf; ALSO their youngest member has SUCH a nice tone UGH <33333

their 2 shows:

ok love in translation actually sounds like exactly my cup of tea hahahah it looks so cute <3 and potentially heartbreaking but like not TOO heartbreaking

century of love... yeah ok i'm gonna put that on my list of things to get to when i'm in the right headspace for that kind of angst but what an interesting concept!! its like comphet, the series. xD

wait both their shows are comphet the series? xDDDD they just swapped who was suffering from it.

hoboy they are SO LOUD already from the beginning wtf

(sidenote but I would KILL for fortpeat to go on something like this cAN YOU IMAGINE the sHINANIGANS!! peat being so happy at all the food. fort's teasing. ugh. where can i start a petition ya'll)

the heIGHT DIFFERENCE am i'm feeling some type of way about it, yes yes i am

bAHAHAH the mandatory piggyback ride that they actually just SAY is boyfriend material i'm-- i'm not use do this lack of wink wink nudge nudge skinship approach in my boyband duos like?? *confused noises pt 2*

oh oh my gosh they have auntie fans too??? how adorableeeee!!!?! damn offroad sounds so soft in southern dialect idk whats going on my ears are blessed *u* <3

I don't know why but daou's "Try traditional snack!" made me crack up xDDDD

i have just realised what a mistake it was to start this on an empty stomach T___T that all looks SO GOOD wtf

lol that poor lady with the corgi's just wanted to go on her way and she got way-landed by these insane boys xDD

wft the nUZZING INTO THE NECK THING. IT S STILL. SO MUCH. IHAVE FEELIGNS ABOUT THIS MOMENT Tu T <3

guYS-- GUYS you said you both paid half... so you don't... you don't still need to do the cheek kisse-- oh nevermind you did them already ok then

i mean ok but for real tho the amount of times offroad just cracks up at somethign random daou does is genuinely really sweet?? like they seem to really have this wavelength that is just their own *u*

[ageravena]

You know what, the Fairly OddParents fandom has been quite tame. Let's spice things up a little bit.

Doesn't anybody else get that silly feeling when you see fanart of Peri being like a father to Dev, like... where's the rest of you 😍? Don't be shy, show us where Dale is. Or are you too scared? (I wouldn't blame you, I was too at first)

Small warning: this post includes slight swearing and many brain-numbing headcanons. I'm not responsible for any mental anguish you may experience

I would like to quickly apologize to the 6 people shipping Peri with Dale. I thought I was the only one but it seems like I've finally found my people. Anyways, back to the topic.

Now that you're here, I may as well show some more art of these two goobers +some silly headcanons. These are my AUed* versions of the two in my odd semi-realistic style that I completely ditch whenever I don't have the patience to draw faces (I often suck at drawing them. No wonder all my OCs are furries)

Note: him being slightly chubby and him having mobility issues are both headcanons I have shamelessly borrowed from others in the fandom. Also am I the only one who thinks Peri WOULDN'T be 6 ft tall? In the series he's like 5 apples tall, so wouldn't it make sense for him to be a bit short?

Note: there's like a bunch of lore explaining the reason why Dale looks so fucked up in my version. I scarred him for life, oopsie! But at least he has Peri now who "forces" him to go to therapy 😍. I may need to make a seperate post where I only talk about him and his past if I have the motivation.

I know a lot of you don't even know the pain of trying to convert a stylized character into a realistic style and still making them look good and kinda recognizable. I envy you who have less realistic art styles.

*And yes, I did say AU. More specifically I'm talking about the "Missionaries of Eden AU" (by me). I'm not gonna go into detail now, but basically it's a semi-biblical and more serious take on FOP, where the fairies are angels, anti-fairies are demons and pixies... I think they can stay as pixies, or maybe they're ghosts, bees? (There's a lot of things I still need to figure out) Their tasks are to work as missionaries on the planets of Eden (planets where life exists). There's a bunch of other lore (some of which I've explained on my casual/personal account on Instagram), but it's best I leave it for another time.

Btw: if you've seen me talk about a "Below the Stars AU", "Bible AU", "Ager DLC" or something else, it's all just the same thing. I just had a hard time coming up with a good name for it lol.

Also speaking of which, I have another post coming up (hopefully) where I explain my reasons for shipping Peri and Dale. It can honestly, out of context, seem like a toxic yaoi crack ship, but believe it or not but I managed to make it the opposite; plausible AND healthy. I want to enlighten you all plus I really want to yap about them.

It feels super funny to ship such a underrated ship. I'm used to shipping semi-popular ships, so to now be all alone feels kinda fun! They have so much potential and so few are seeing the vision?? Though to be fair I'm also glad it's not that famous lmao.

Ps. Ignore the fact I haven't posted anything here for at least half-a-year. All my mutuals are on Instagram, so I don't have a need to post here, though now I've decided to dedicate this account to hyperfixation slop so maybe you'll be hearing from me much sooner.

Ps. Ps. I currently have a 22-page-long google doc filled with lore and info about almost everything I've thought of for the AU, but it's 80% in Finnish so sharing it is useless.

Man, I love writing unnecessary long posts knowing I'm the only one reading them❤️😍 though if you HAVE gotten this far, here's a little treat:

My body refuses to draw Dale in his original outfit. I like to pretend Peri helped him change a bit (most notably taking off his goddamn shoes, though they do have some lore that I've created. GGHHRRAAA EVERYTHING HAS LORE ATTACHED TO IT GRRRR). Also Dev isn't actually grumpy, he just likes to act tough.

My art style looks probably so inconsistent❤️

[crossover-enthusiast]

EXPLAIN YOUR CULT IDEAS AS MUCH AS YOU'D LIKE MY DEAR FRIEND

-📺 (ceaarl/gang-with-hatz)

YAYYYY THANK YOU SO MUCH @gang-with-hatz

(under cut bc. This got really long)

Okay so I already made a post about my ex-cultist Mr. Wonder theory so I won't go into that here, HOWEVER-

I'm going to ramble about this specifically because guys. Guys you're missing the prime angst with John's wife guys-

First I'm gonna get Actor out of the way tho

This one is mostly on vibes + clothes, plus him being the only character in SM 1 to not have any sort of major significance as of yet. Also him being a movie star goes with a lot of the cult having jobs/occupations related to things kids like, if Actor's in the cult his movies are prolly meant to target the older teens/adults instead

Also his eyes do the funny when he gets spooked by Ooga Booga in the first episode

Like genuinely Why Is He Built Like That

OKAY NOW ONTO JOHN'S WIFE

John and Lila have a lot of parallels: traumatized widows with a single child. Hope is dead, and John blames himself. Skid has frequently brushed with death in part due to Lila's irresponsibility. They both have a friend who's dumb and reckless but ultimately cares about them

So logically, this would mean that Lila's husband and John's wife would also have parallels, and if Skiddad's part of the cult, then...

I will absolutely admit this was just a silly crack theory/AU-- until I saw her photo from the ARG. It's just incredibly striking to me that the first photo we see of John's wife, the first acknowledgement of her period, has her with her eyes out of frame, not visible, just like Skid's dad. Her clothes, too, a cyan jacket with a dark green shirt and gold hairbands. It just screams cult to me

I'm not saying she was like, the cult's co-leader or anything, but I think she's involved, somehow. Imagine the absolute crushing irony there too, that John has spent so long trying to find out and stop the people that have taken his daughter, his home, his life away from him, only to find that his beloved wife was one of them. That'd just be soul crushing.

Also while I'm yapping I want to briefly touch upon Rick and Frank since I included them here too

I don't think Frank's in the cult. His literal entire thing basically goes against the cult since he actually gives the kids back... eventually. HOWEVER, I've been really warming up to the "undead Frank" theory, particularly the idea that the cult revived him ala Frankenstein's Monster to use him for their own purposes, but Frank still had his own mind (either metaphorically or literally) and fucked off because he didn't want any part of it (I would also like to thank @nonbinaryshotgunman for giving me that idea)

TLDR: he knows the cult exists, but doesn't know the members or what they want

Now for Rick... genuinely there's two ways I see it: either the comedic route where he joins the cult in the last episode as a "job", or the more serious/character focused route where he's a former cultist, and his depression and apathy stem from his time in it

I've just been thinking about it and like. He's worked for Evermore. He's worked at the Candy Club, which we now know is owned by the Candy Dealer. He's worked at the mall, which is a hotspot to sell Happy Fellas, which may or may not be connected to the cult. The only job Rick's had in the show itself so far that is 100% not connected to the cult is when he worked at the theater, and Radford more than likely helped get him hired

Somehow someway Rick keeps getting jobs that are in some way connected to the cult. I feel like it has to mean something. Plus again, main associated color is red, cult colors. Something I also find super interesting is that his toy counterpart in the SM 4 credits has gold rims on his shirt, which aren't actually there in his normal/casual outfit, implying his original design had them at one point but this got changed sometime before the TT merch ad

Okay I'm done yapping (for now). Thank you again SO so much I LOVE just talking about theory shit

[rigginsstreet]

This is honestly a 5am crack thought, but I'm kind of obsessed with an AU where Billy is actually an Upside Down monster that Steve and the kids accidentally turn into a person/somewhat human.

Like maybe the-thing-that-Billy-is-before-he's-Billy is attacking them at the lab and Steve shoots him with what he thinks is your run of the mill gun. Or throws a bottle of something off a shelf at him. Grabs a random needle and stabs him with it.

And nothing happens at first. And, shit, yeah. They're about to die.

Except.

Except suddenly, what was a dangerous and very intent on killing them monster is now some naked feral mullet wearing boy who is absolutely stunned and confused by the concept of two legs and hands.

And, yeah. He's also fucking furious, still. And deadly. But also, what are toes, and why does he have them? What do they do? And he can't really bite things to death anymore, but actually, punching is kind of fun.

And its basically just like a what-if-your-dog-became-a-person style AU, but monsters, and Harringrove.

I would read 100k of this this is so funny

Billy won’t let having dull teeth stop him from (trying) to bite people to death. In fact multiple members of the party almost lose fingers in the early days trying to take something away from billy. They quickly learn that’s a no no

Steve, however, had billy bite him on the neck once and is like “that won’t threaten me cuz it turns me on dumbass” and billy can experience whole new human emotions with that one 🥰

I do love a feral!billy. Not much different from canon really. But like, Billy going from upside down monster to attack dog for the party…you love to see it. Steve and Nancy and Lucas are out here with their weapons meanwhile cut to Billy he’s shredding monsters like pulled pork with his bare hands.

Oh ok also billy staying at Steve’s house since he’s got the only empty one capable of hiding a random man, and Steve has to teach him the concept of sleep time and gives him his own room and pajamas etc, all while Billy stares at him with a blank face. And Steve’s like “ok alright goodnight I guess sleep well” and leaves all awkward. Only to be woken up an hour later to a big naked lump curled up at the end of his bed fast asleep and Steve kicks at him and wakes him up like “no you sleep in the other room! With clothes on!” But billys sleepy being human is exhausting so he’s not budging and Steve just accepts his fate and goes back to sleep what else is he gonna do he’s tired too

[dew-creek]

hello!! just dropping by to say i love your art lots--- your comics are really funny and have an impeccable sense of comedic timing, your colors are always pleasing to look at, and i also really like your line art. also your most recent doodles that you posted (the one with hinata and izura and komaeda), are soooo cool, i could see them on like aposter

oh i also saw your twins kamuhina au art (incredible) and wondered if you've ever read the fic 'The Hinata Days' by crackerjackermackeral on ao3? if not, it's about twin-brothers-main-course-izuru and reserve-course-hinata, where Izuru is an eccentric apathetic dependent-on-hajime little guy while Hajime tiredly tries to keep him in line. It's really funny and light-hearted, so check it out if you want!

anywho, once again, thank you for sharing your art to the world! it makes me happy whenever i see it on my dash!

Firstly, I want to say, THANK YOU!! This is such a high compliment! I'm always so glad that people enjoy my art! I draw purely for fun and post what I draw equally for fun, so it's nice to see people enjoy things that I enjoy making. I love experimenting with new styles and colors, hence my latest drawings. That's what I love most about art.

As for your fic suggestion, I'm reading it right now! And this is SO up my alley! I looove the twin dynamic going on here, it's just perfect. These fucking lines are cracking me up.

i just finished chapter 4 and this is SOOO good thank you so much anon. i LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS DYNAMIC BETWEEN HAJIME AND IZURU......its like a different flavor hikakao. im becoming obsessed. i think i must draw more kamuhina art soon.

this made my heart melt:

I LOOOOVE CLINGY IZURU....his dependent swag. this person sees the vision. he cant bare being away from hajime for more than an hour. clingy twins make me go crazy i wont lie.

(also unrelated but i love that sato and mahiru are introduced early. i love love love background characters so when people put a focus on sato or natsumi as side characters im so so happy. i need more hajime/natsumi brotp stuff damn it.)

also REALLY LOVE THAT THE AUTHOR put thought into komaeda's FTD.

^I was actually having a conversation just like this with a friend the other day, they were telling me why they think Komaeda's FTD was misdiagnosed and they pretty much said this stuff by the book. .. maybe they secretly wrote this.

fuck im gonna be thinkin about this fic the rest of the day now. im also going to go doodle some kamuhina.......i got an ask asking for more and tbh i love them so who am i to say no, heehee

[vanlegion]

S19 Mini Theory - Staff of Charon Fight

Okay, so I was rewatching some S13 stuff for funsies (a funny af "shotgun" moment). . . but I kept watching to the end. So here's a theory I had before, but now it's changed up a bit because I was wrong about the ORDER... and now I'm actually kind of flipping my shit just a touch if I'm right. I'll add a read more break here:

So lemme just start off all of this Preamble saying, IF we actually get to see the Staff of Charon fight, which was possibly teased by the Simulation run teaser Church was doing... Then this is my new theory for this fight (Which I assume will be at the very beginning of the movie). Okay, so at the end, Church is giving his little speech and saying how this is gonna have to be his last real moment with everyone. He's got to 'deconstruct' himself, and that the fragments he leaves behind will help them all get through the fight. When he says this, the fragments flash on the screen in a particular line up order. . . which also line up with certain characters in the same shot. A line up I was originally got wrong. This is the line up:

There are 6 fragments and technically six characters in this shot. When I first thought how the fight would go, I imagined some people would get some of the fragments somehow. I wasn't sure how it would be done until Church basically said he'd have to break himself up, but I digress. One of my first assumptions was that Delta would go to Simmons. He's typically the "smart" one and Delta is a logical AI. I also assumed this because I figured there might be a Holo-Lock they'd have to break through and so far, Simmon's is usually called to lock-pick a door. (*coughYorkVibescough*) Now however... After seeing this shot? HO-LY Fuck. Delta staying with Tucker makes sense. He's going to need a logical voice helping him with that suit. He'll be able to do his Big Damn Hero thing but with also with a calculated precision Delta can give him. Theta, almost invisible but there in between Tucker and Caboose, would go to Caboose. They are both childlike and find a lot of things scary, but Caboose is also good at not letting those scary things get to him. Theta will be able to protect him, I feel. Gamma with Lopez. I don't think I need to expand much on this. The Twins - Eta and Iota. . . Would go to Doc and O'Malley. Two Minds. Sarge getting Sigma somewhat surprised me, but after mulling it over, I realized that Sarge has always had the fiery passion of battle burn in his heart. I feel this will help keep Sarge sharp and speedy, and possibly we may even see him use his shotgun with new strategy.

Which leaves Omega with Simmons. This kind of shocked me at first. But then, again, taking a moment to reflect on it, this could possibly be fitting. Simmons can fight fairly well as it is, however, he can crack under pressure pretty fast. I feel like Omega is going to drive him to keep fighting even when shit looks really bad. He may even lose a bit of fear. He already seems to have a penchant for fighting - he enjoys it. He also at some point when Omega was a threat before, made sure to prep himself mentally in case Omega jumped back into him.

Of course, this is all speculation and theory over a fight that may or may not happen . . . but like, after that teaser with Church, I feel like if we DONT get that epic fight we're getting kinda robbed. But if I'm right about this, just. . . holy fuck. Anywho, regardless of all of this, I also have this far out/introspective Comic Idea that takes place at this moment. I'm going to call it an AU at this point because we get S19 in a month. But I wanna see if I can get the comic done before then. Let's say Church has one last internal conversation with someone, and gives them a temporary promotion... providing they help him and step their lazy ass up.

[missmiseryguts]

GUESS WHO KINDA FINISHED THE CONDUCTOR IDEAS

It's gonna be mostly writing + sketches cause I'm struggling a lil bit on drawing Conductor but MAIN DESIGN W/O COLOR AND A GOOFY DOODLE FINISHED!

I saw a dragon + MU in a prince-like outfit for Act 2 and my brain immediately went "Fantasy??? Fairytales perhaps??" I imagine he was inspired by his grandkids and fairytales he heard growing up as a child! Unfortunately, as he kept going, he became more focused on one-upping Grooves and winning the Annual Bird Movie Awards, and the vibes of his movies changed for the worse unfortunately. :(

He still has an explosive temper, but tries to manage it or at least tone it down in front of the cameras. Unfortunately, if you choose him as the winner, he pulls the same stunt Grooves did in the original. I imagine he even accuses you of rigging the previous Bird Awards via time travel (even though it's your first time there... Idk he's prolly delirious by this point lol)

Also imagine Bow Kid or Hood Kid telling the winning bird about the time travel aspect to the Time Pieces?? Or one of them notifying the losing bird that Hat Kids is in danger?? I'm pretty sure it was hinted that M.U had an effect in the Dead Bird boss fight, but IDK if it's canon or I just remembered a hc.

Also does a bomb still get strapped to Swap!MU in the second phase or is it something else?

(P.S: Lemme know if I'm overstepping a boundary!! I was reading this over and I'm scared that it reads like telling you about the characters in your own AU lol)

HELP POOR MU LOOKS SO SCAREEDDD.. Also I'm so loving this idea what... Conductor making movies and plays based on his grandkids ideas is so cute and the way he LOSES SIGHT OF HIS ORIGINAL VISON??? I saw a headcanon post one time about something like this... I LOVE THAT SO MUCH.

Him keeping his temper would be pretty funny.. especially if he tried to hide it. Grooves is more passive aggressive and cold, I want him to take on some of og conductors traits?? Like his recklessness and apathy towards his workers.. Conductor I can see being very short tempered, but he just does breathing exercises to not yell at anyone HELP. Like MU makes a mistake and he just starts counting to ten before telling her that shes doing great LMAOO

And I wanted Hood and Bow to have a role in this chapter too! In the finale they might be the reason the winning director knows about the timepiece power, but not because they told him.. maybe because they try to steal it, fumble a little, it rewinds time after being dropped, and then the director who saw it happen goes crazy?? Bow realizes they've fucked up, and drags Hood out of there before they die HAHAHAH or something.. in the other acts I was thinking maybe they're in the 'O Romeo O Romeo!' act and they are literally forced to be the villain.. in my og concept I was gonna have Hood forced to act as the damsel in distress because Conductor caught her sneaking around, but then ashfluffys gave me the FUNNIEST IDEA EVER to make the damsel an owl so that idea changed, so she and Bow might play as a villain in that act? I'm rambling now BUT for the DJ grooves levels I was thinking they're in space rush? The act where the spaceship is crashing towards earth! I can see them maybe getting stuck on there trying to find a timepiece and trying to race Mu to the end, sabotaging her, etc, or all that..

ALSO I FUCKING FORGOT ABIUT THE BOMB???? YES HELP OH MY FUCK HAHAHAH.. and for the stage in the fight where the parade is meant to follow you, idk, maybe- the fucking dragon comes back and tries to set you on fire HELP

I really want to work on Grooves' levels now ,,, I've worked on Conductors a lot, and I do have clear visions for Grooves' levels, I just gotta figure him out... Design wise and stuff. I don't normally draw the less humanoid characters, not my forte, but here's a crack at Conductor! I drew your design for him and tried to make up another one!

Mus guitar actually turns INTO a sword, a rapier! The prince costume does that.. I was thinking of a custom "royal medallion" to cue the costume change or something.

You know the whole "losing his creative vision" could actually be a damn good storybook. I don't know what the title would be, but it'd probably be his grandkids telling him a story, him remembering the ones he made as a kid, then he got to writing and producing a small local play for his grandkids and the other kids where he lived, it got the attention of big studios, he got hired at Dead Bird Studio as a director, ran into Grooves and his whole creative vision went down from there... OUUGHSGKHDFKHSHF

Anyways THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR IDEAS??!!! You guys have no clue how much it means to me. I love hearing all your ideas for my au and working on it as a collaboration with y'all is honestly so much fun.. it rekindles my passion every single time. I don't think giving me ideas will EVER 'cross a boundary', I love hearing all of your concepts !!! I'll try super hard to incorporate all the ones I think fit, and to be honest, all y'alls ideas not only fit my vision but expand upon it and help me think of all the small details I never would have noticed beforehand... THANK YOU SO MUCH. IM INDEBTED TO EVERY SINGLE ONE IF YOU GUYS FOR HELPING ME MAKE THESE CONCEPTS MWWWWWAH 🙏 THIS AU WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT

[seokjins-luigi]

simple thing | part one | ksj

・pairing: ex! seokjin x ex!afab!reader ・genre: exes to ? | angst | smut | marriage AU! | actor jin | non idol AU ・+18

・summary: seven years ago, you left seokjin to pursue your dreams abroad. you promised to come back to him, but your pride prevented you from doing so. now, he resents you and all you have left is regret.

・release date: jan 8 - 6 pm (GMT-3)

・A/N: there it is :) i'm really excited to tell this story! as always, you feedback is highly appreciated!

・word count: 6.081

・banner: made by the amazing @gfxstdio

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・series taglist: @bri-mal @firesighgirl

“Oh, ______, imagine when it’s your turn”, you heard the dreamy tone in your best friend’s voice and almost laughed.

“I think you should open yourself up to the possibility of never being my maid of honor, because it’s extremely unlikely that I’ll ever get married”, you answered as you stared at your own reflection in the mirror, pleased with the adjustments made on your gown for the upcoming event. “Deep down, you know that”.

“Well, it’s not like you have no options, bitch. You just don’t allow anyone in your life ever since you came back”, Haewon counters, her voice coming from behind you, but you know her eyes are also on your gown. “Aw, you look so beautiful in it, _____. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but-”.

Her voice cracks and you turn around only to find your best friend with her face buried in her hands, obviously breaking the promise she’d made to herself. You understand where this is coming from and can’t help yourself when you feel your own eyes welling up as you wrap your mind around what’s really happening here. 

Haewon is finally getting married to the love of her life. You already knew that, of course, but seeing yourself in the dress you’d wear on your best friend’s wedding, a day the two of you had dreamed about for so long, with all the adjustments and fittings done filled your heart with so much love, so much selfless happiness. 

“You’re such a fucking softie! Come here…” You manage to say with an unstable voice, as you wrapped your arms around your lifelong best friend. “I’m so happy for you, Haewon-ah!”

“Ugh, I’m so fucking happy I can’t even put into words. But I’m also so nervous at the same time”, she sniffs, wiping the tears away from her eyes delicately so she wouldn’t smudge her mascara. “Like, intrusive thoughts keep getting in the way, what if Yoongi simply says ‘no’?”

“Ha! As if!” You let out a sincere laugh, smiling softly at her as you continue. “This is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard you say”.

“Aren’t you gonna reassure me saying that Yoongi loves me more than anything or something?” She asks in a wobbly voice. 

Which is funny, because in front of you stands one of the most confident women you know. You guess being a bride does mess with your brain.

“Do I really have to?”

“Not really”, she answers shyly, as if coming to the most obvious conclusion ever. She continues, trying to get off this specific subject. “And you… Especially in this dress, will definitely get yourself a hookup and live the drama of your dreams at your best friend’s wedding, have you thought of that? I think Kitae is single, by the way”.

“My god… You were crying two seconds ago thinking about the possibility of Yoongi leaving you, now you’re telling me about Hwang Kitae’s love life status… What happens inside this brain of yours, Haewon-ah?!” You poke her head playfully with your pointer finger. “Can’t I just look forward to enjoying the party or something? I can get a hookup any other time of the year”, you reply, automatically rolling your eyes at her.

She bursts out laughing, knowing very well it would annoy the shit out of you. She simply doesn’t understand that you have priorities in life and getting laid was not number one on that list. Not that you don’t want to get laid or flirt with hot guys, of course you do. But you have so many responsibilities at the university, not only are you a new professor, but as the Department Chair of the Paleontological faculty of one the top universities in Seoul. You’ve been invited back to your country to take up the position and you couldn’t be more honored with the invitation, you didn't even second guess your choice to leave the lab you had been working in China. The endless hours you’ve spent in libraries studying your ass off, at the lab or out at fieldwork were worth it and you finally got the job of your dreams.

Since you returned to South Korea relatively recently, it’s harder to get your social life back on track. And it’s not like the piles of paperwork you need to do every week will just work themselves, so you don’t have much time to spend flirting. 

And it’s fine, you love what you do.

“Well… You know he’s gonna be there”, Haewon suggests with a suspicious wiggle of her eyebrows. 

“Yeah, I know, Haewon-ah!” You stare at her for one second, then continue, a little too short on your patience than you’d care to admit. “Can’t you just leave my love life alone for a holy second?” 

“I’m just saying, love. Don’t be mad at me”, she raises her hands, in sign of peace and you sigh. “I just feel like it’s good to emphasize that you’ll be seeing Seokjin in a couple of days. It can get awkward or uncomfortable, or make you feel bad, I just want you to prepare yourself mentally to go through it with beauty and grace, at least”.

Kim Seokjin is a touchy subject for you. A touchy subject you preferred to avoid for the past two years of your life, but, unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to postpone this for much longer. 

The mere image of Seokjin on your brain was enough to stir your insides up. Thinking about seeing him again makes you want to run away from Korea once more, leaving everything behind, just like you did 7 years ago. If it wasn’t Haewon’s wedding, you might as well have just done that. 

But some things are better dealt with when faced with spontaneity and this is the plan you mean to follow when facing him after 7 years apart. The plan is: you will see. 

“Yeah, I know”, you turn your gaze towards the mirror once again, taking in how good you look in the gown. At least, when you meet him again, you’ll look gorgeous. “It’ll be fine. Care to help me with this zipper?”  

Something you couldn’t mention to Haewon was the fact that being a maid of honor was stressful as hell, but you could vent out about it to Hoseok, your other best friend. You did that pretty frequently, you might add. 

That’s what friends are for, right?

“I swear to god, Hoseok!” Laying on your bed, you avow in a dramatic, but honest tone. “Chaewon is gonna try to start some drama on the wedding day, I know that devil pretty well. And honestly, I don’t know what to do to prevent it”.

“Can’t we just uninvite her?” He asks, laughing on the other end. 

“I’d love to, but Haewon wants to give her a chance”, you stare calmly at your ceiling as you speak to your friend. “Yoongi told me that I shouldn’t allow her to give a speech, quoting: ‘under no circumstances’”, you try to make an impression of his raspy, low voice. “I wouldn’t let her touch the mic anyways, but having the groom to back me up makes everything easier”. 

“Yah, _____, you shouldn’t worry so much! We’re all gonna be there to help you manage that dragon”, he answers you, giggling softly after calling the bride’s half sister a dragon. “And about that, when I say “we’re all gonna be there”, I mean, all of us. Including Seokj-”

“I know that, Hoseok”, you cut him short. “You guys really don’t have to bring him up every time we speak to each other, ok?”

“Ok… Sorry”, he replies tonelessly. “I just felt like I could point it out, since we’re all staying at the same hotel. But, anyways, go get some sleep, it’s pretty late”.

That’s the best thing about being best friends with an Aquarius sun, they will respect your boundaries no matter how wrong they think you are. You know he, just like Haewon, thinks you should face the problem, but he knows you are a grown ass woman and he just doesn’t even try to press the matter. He just leaves you be. 

You check the time on your phone and he’s right. It’s 12:12 am and, unfortunately, your work at the university has turned you into an early riser. 

“You too, Seok Seok, make sure to get some rest after lending your ear to my stressed self. Good night”, trying to soften your voice, feeling a faint pang of guilt on your chest for being rude to him.

“Night, sweetums”.

You hang up and throw your phone somewhere on your bed, rolling away from it to try to clear your mind. Could Haewon and Hoseok be right about Seokjin? 

Like, do you need to prepare yourself before meeting him again after so long? But then again, how could you even begin to prepare yourself for something like that?

It wasn’t like you didn’t have to see his face every so often on your tv. You did. In fact, he’s the reason you haven’t kept up with the drama releases in the past few years, since he’s been the lead on so many. Yes, you know you’re the one who left, but it didn’t mean you left because you had no feelings for him, you were just scared. You’re human, after all, you’re allowed to regret. 

But life finds a way and so do you. You fall asleep not long after reaching that conclusion, but tonight, you couldn’t avoid seeing Seokjin in your dreams.

Something you couldn’t mention to Haewon was the fact that being a maid of honor was stressful as hell, but you could vent out about it to Hoseok, your other best friend. You did that pretty frequently, you might add. 

That’s what friends are for, right?

“I swear to god, Hoseok!” Laying on your bed, you avow in a dramatic, but honest tone. “Chaewon is gonna try to start some drama on the wedding day, I know that devil pretty well. And honestly, I don’t know what to do to prevent it”.

“Can’t we just uninvite her?” He asks, laughing on the other end. 

“I’d love to, but Haewon wants to give her a chance”, you stare calmly at your ceiling as you speak to your friend. “Yoongi told me that I shouldn’t allow her to give a speech, quoting: ‘under no circumstances’”, you try to make an impression of his raspy, low voice. “I wouldn’t let her touch the mic anyways, but having the groom to back me up makes everything easier”. 

“Yah, _____, you shouldn’t worry so much! We’re all gonna be there to help you manage that dragon”, he answers you, giggling softly after calling the bride’s half sister a dragon. “And about that, when I say “we’re all gonna be there”, I mean, all of us. Including Seokj-”

“I know that, Hoseok”, you cut him short. “You guys really don’t have to bring him up every time we speak to each other, ok?”

“Ok… Sorry”, he replies tonelessly. “I just felt like I could point it out, since we’re all staying at the same hotel. But, anyways, go get some sleep, it’s pretty late”.

That’s the best thing about being best friends with an Aquarius sun, they will respect your boundaries no matter how wrong they think you are. You know he, just like Haewon, thinks you should face the problem, but he knows you are a grown ass woman and he just doesn’t even try to press the matter. He just leaves you be. 

You check the time on your phone and he’s right. It’s 12:12 am and, unfortunately, your work at the university has turned you into an early riser. 

“You too, Seok Seok, make sure to get some rest after lending your ear to my stressed self. Good night”, trying to soften your voice, feeling a faint pang of guilt on your chest for being rude to him.

“Night, sweetums”.

You hang up and throw your phone somewhere on your bed, rolling away from it to try to clear your mind. Could Haewon and Hoseok be right about Seokjin? 

Like, do you need to prepare yourself before meeting him again after so long? But then again, how could you even begin to prepare yourself for something like that?

It wasn’t like you didn’t have to see his face every so often on your tv. You did. In fact, he’s the reason you haven’t kept up with the drama releases in the past few years, since he’s been the lead on so many. Yes, you know you’re the one who left, but it didn’t mean you left because you had no feelings for him, you were just scared. You’re human, after all, you’re allowed to regret. 

But life finds a way and so do you. You fall asleep not long after reaching that conclusion, but tonight, you couldn’t avoid seeing Seokjin in your dreams. 

As the day of the big event approached, you started packing slowly, since you hated packing for trips. You were in no position to complain, since Yoongi basically rented the whole hotel for the wedding guests. Like, it’s not a mediocre kind of hotel, it’s one of the best hotels in Daegu. He insisted on hosting the wedding in his home city and Haewon didn’t oppose to it, since she is from the capital and they live there already. 

Hoseok went to Daegu before you, by plane. You preferred to take a car trip, since it wasn’t such a long journey from Seoul to Daegu. You do love driving, so it’s a good chance to take some time and do something you love for a change. Plus, you think it’s good to have your own car with you while you’re there, because if you need to rush with any last minute details for the wedding, you wouldn’t have to depend on anything other than yourself.

When you remember your best friend is about to marry one of the most famous rappers from Korea, you always smile. Like, everything turned out the way it was supposed to be. She was a big lawyer, he was a big artist. Hoseok, also known as J-Hope was the one who introduced them, since Yoongi and him were under the same label. You were away for years, doing what you have always dreamed to do.Namjoon, a friend you don’t get to see as often, because he’s always super busy, became a very relevant art curator known worldwide for his work. Seokjin became Korea's favorite heartthrob. 

Things changed a lot since you were all young and in high school making all those plans. It took you a few hours, but with these thoughts keeping you company, the car trip to Yoongi’s hometown went flying.  

The hotel your friend’s fiance booked for his guests couldn’t be more opulent, you were in awe the moment you first laid your eyes on its front. Tall gray walls rose against the Daegu sky, with several glossy windows reflecting the city lights. On the top floor, you can see a gigantic swimming pool that would be delightfully pleasant for you on these hot summer days. 

After parking your car in the hotel facilities, you checked yourself in and rushed to your room. Laying in your bed’s comfortable white sheets, ordering something nice from the hotel’s restaurant and having the night to relax. You were very happy to find out you could access your Netflix account while there, so you chose a random romantic comedy movie to chill while you ate. 

“Don’t you have any other friends, Haewon-ah? Why does it have to be me?” You uttered loudly, lowering your face in the direction of the sink, where your phone rested against the counter while you washed your face, still a bit slow due to the early hours.

“Will it kill you, _____?” You hear Haewon’s voice coming as loud as yours from the speaker of your phone.

“Yeah, probably!” You affirmed and gestured as if she could see you. “Ugh, doesn’t Yoongi have any friends to ask for stuff? What’s the point of being famous if you can’t ask favors from important people?”

“If you think about it, you’re kind of important too… You’re the most relevant paleontologist in South Korea right now”, you can see in your mind’s eye the expression on her face as she strokes your ego with this particular comment.

You’re not usually a very narcissistic person, but when it comes to your professional life… You kind of are. Haewon knows that and she, sometimes, uses that in her own favor. 

“Yeah, well, long story short is: I don't want to!” You stare at your reflection for a second in order to help you think about something else to say. “Can’t Chanyeol go?”

“No, he can’t”, she answers dryly. “Don’t be a fucking child, _____. I know you have nothing important to do today and I’m asking you for a favor”.

She is right, you have nothing to do this afternoon. You wanted to chill some more by the pool, but you know she will just laugh at you if you say that. You have no other excuses to give her, there’s apparently no way out of this.

“Can't this guy just call an Uber or something?” You try for the last time.

“_____, he’s stopped the shootings of his next movie in freaking Japan to come to my wedding, I can’t just leave him and greet him like any other guest” Yeah, she has a point. You don’t really show it, but you agree with her. Seokjin has always been a considerate friend, damn him for that. “And you two are gonna have to talk to each other in a few hours anyways, can’t you try to make it a little less uncomfortable? We’re all staying at the same fucking hotel. I think if you two meet alone before the rehearsal dinner, it will be easier to deal with each other’s presence. You’re my maid of honor, _____”.

You knew since day one that, as a maid of honor, you’d have many obligations in your friend’s wedding and when you accepted to be Haewon’s maid of honor, you were counting on being bothered with all sorts of requests from her. Even your assistant, Jeon Jungkook, helped every once in a while when you were too busy at the university.  But honestly? The only thing you didn't see coming was having to pick Kim Seokjin up at the airport. All by yourself. 

Apparently god, the gods or whoever runs the skies or whatever has a very controversial sense of humor. And this thing enjoyed putting you in all sorts of embarrassing situations. Because, come on, having to pick up your ex-boyfriend of years, who you broke up with to go study abroad and who also happened to be very hurt by the breakup at the time, at the fucking international airport was a fucking joke. If you saw it coming, you’d have joined Hoseok on the airplane. 

Sighing in defeat, you finally ask your best friend.

“What time do I fucking have to be there?”

You drove to the airport with The Seeds of Love blasting through the sound system of your car, singing along to each and every single one of the songs, in a desperate attempt to calm yourself the fuck down. It worked to a certain degree, but you were still feeling the annoying, but familiar sensation inside of you. 

When you parked the car in the airport’s parking lot, you had to fight the urge to vomit and to run away at the same time. You know that seeing Seokjin for the first time in years will definitely mess with you in ways you didn’t even want to imagine. 

You don’t particularly enjoy this sensation, to feel extremely lost into someone, but also utterly vulnerable. That’s why you didn’t keep your word. That’s why you didn’t look for him when you came back. Being with him always made you feel like there’s no one else in the world, apart from him. It was a sensation like no other, loving someone with your whole heart and soul, but the vulnerability that necessarily comes with it doesn’t really sit well with you. It doesn’t even suit you anymore. 

Also, deep down, you knew he had already moved on and it was incredibly naive of you to think a man like Seokjin would be single for long. To make matters worse, he is an actor, for god’s sake. He would never wait for you, when he has the chance to be with people who are completely out of your league, but totally into his league. 

That’s why the best option for you was just to move on with your own ordinary, academic life. Find someone nice and as ordinary as you, Seokjin and you don't belong in the same world anymore and that’s fine. That’s how life works. Things aren’t unchangeable and so aren’t people. 

With your mind racing, you tried the breathing exercise your psychologist taught before leaving the car, but the magic didn’t work this time around. You couldn’t stop thinking and speculating about how'd you really feel when you finally laid your eyes on him. 

Your legs dragged you into the arrivals area, as your eyes scanned the place in hopes of finding Seokjin before he found you. You didn’t arrive at the airport much earlier than you should have, because you knew that you’d be anxious as fuck, which didn’t give you much time to only think or speculate how you’d feel when your eyes lay on Seokjin’s after so long. You found out pretty soon, when unexpectedly you saw his brown, almond shaped eyes staring directly at yours, as soon as the doors from arrival opened. It’s like after all this time, he still found you in a crowded room no matter what. 

For a couple of seconds, it felt like everybody else in the world was out of focus and Seokjin was everything you could see. He came walking towards you, his face remained in a stoic expression and you desperately tried to recompose yourself, more on the inside than on the outside, since you’ve always been good at hiding your feelings. It felt so surreal seeing him, after he became a celebrity, after you left him to pursue your dreams, so many things have happened and so much has changed in the meantime. Each step he takes in your direction, makes you realize it was all real.

He is there in front of you, Kim Seokjin, in flash and bones. He still looked the same as he looked seven years ago, the same striking beauty that always made you think you were the luckiest woman in the world. You really were. 

He was wearing an oversized black sweatshirt and also a pair of oversized blue jeans, he looks so fucking cool it hurts. His hair is longer than he used to have back then, but you really think the longer hair suits him very well. You almost hate him for looking so effortlessly handsome.

You tried giving him a half smile, because the fact that he didn’t react in any way to your presence made you feel nervous. He didn’t smile back, though as he got closer, he bowed to you. Simply bowed, as if you were just an ordinary acquaintance. 

Gulping, you bowed back at him.

“Seokjin-ssi, hi! Wow, it’s been so long”, you tried, in a desperate attempt to make the situation less awkward.

He pressed his lips together and nodded, not really looking you in the eyes right now. Yeah, he probably still hates you. Great! Did you really have to mention it’s been long? Of course it’s been long since the last time you’ve seen each other and it’s all thanks to you. You’re so bad at small talk.

Why did you allow Haewon convince you to do this, for god’s sake?

“Er- Shall we, then?” You ask him, the silliest and most awkward smile still hanging on your lips. 

“Lead the way”, he replies and hearing the sound of his velvety voice for the first time makes you quiver on the inside.

“Do you…N-Need any help with your baggage?” You felt like a teenager trying to talk to her high school crush, stuttering like that. 

“Oh no, I got it”, he denies and nods his head no, his black hair moving like silk against the wind. “Er- Thanks, though”.

He sounded a tiny bit less cold, which made you feel 0,1% better. You’ll need a very long hot bath to relax after this, you know for sure. You turned without trying to say anything else and made your way towards your car silently, listening to him following you in a safe distance. Your mind was racing trying to find a way to have light small talk with him, because the awkward silence you were forced to share with him right now made you feel like crying.

The weather? Fuck no. Soccer? You don’t care for sports. Politics? You’re not sure of his political opinions nowadays. No silly or light comments came to your mind and trying to mention the wedding would be too obviously a desperate attempt and Seokjin wasn’t stupid.

You helped him accommodate his belongings in the trunk of your car almost in silence, only exchanging a few words about the car and you were ready to get in and endure the longest car ride from the airport to the hotel. 

However, he surprised you when you heard his voice meeting your ears.

“Good to know you came back, ______-ssi”, then, Seokjin opened the car door and took his seat.

Ok, so, he wants to do this. Better than giving you the silent treatment all the way to the hotel, you figured. You follow him on the inside of your car and try giving him another half smile, obviously trying to show him you wanted this to go as smoothly as possible.

“Yes, I’m back”, you laugh nervously as you start the car. “It’s been two ye-”.

“I know”, he cuts you off. “I know it’s been two years”.

You know he knows. You have friends in common, who have obviously mentioned that you came back to Korea, at some point. You’ve always known this conversation would happen, but as much as you tried to prepare yourself for this moment, you realized you couldn't truly be prepared for it.

“Oh”, that’s all you managed to say.

This is the only man you’ve ever loved in your entire life. Finally confronting you after you left. Looking at his eyes, they burned with resentment. You understand his reasons, of course you do. You left him after he proposed to you right after college, to follow your dreams, to become who you are today. You loved him, but you’d never give up on your dreams for anyone and you also didn’t want him to give up on his dreams because of you. His career was starting to take off when you got the scholarship in China and he offered to leave everything behind to go with you.

But you said no to him. 

It hurt like hell to do so, of course it did. You loved him, but because you loved him you couldn’t tell him it was ok to give up on his dreams, on his career, on his life to be with you in another country for god knows how many years. Because you loved him, you couldn’t be selfish. That’s why you left, but it didn’t matter how many times you tried to explain your reasons to him, he would never fully understand. 

“If I remember correctly, you said you’d come and look for me when you came back”, he raised his brows as he said it softly, disguising his rancor. “What happened? Was it hard to track me down or something?”

He knew it wasn’t, since he’s one of Korea’s sweethearts right now.

“Very funny, Seokjin”, you sigh, looking at the road, trying your best to stay focused on the traffic. 

“Yeah, I’ve always managed to make you laugh, right? Good thing I’ve built my career in show business, huh?” You felt his eyes burning where they touched you, as he fixed his gaze on your side profile. “But let me try a different approach. Why didn’t you keep your word? All these years, I… have waited for you, _____”.

“Did you, though?” You glance at his figure for a second and you see his eyes widening, then you turn your full attention back to the road ahead of you. “It wasn't like you’ve been single these past few years, you know? How did you expect me to come back years later, begging you to give me another chance after reading all about your flings with your coworkers all this time?”

He laughs humorlessly and when you don’t follow him, he asks you lowly.

“Are you serious?”

“Why would I not be?” You pinch your eyebrows as you reply to his question with another one.

“You tell me”, he scoffs, running his hands through his hair, then sighs loudly. “And don’t try to change the focus here. I asked you a question first”

“Seokjin, I…”, your voice trails off and you simply stop trying to find something to say.

Does he really need you to confess that you were scared that, after all those years, you were afraid of getting rejected? Doesn’t it go without saying? When you left, everything was different. Seokjin has always attracted the attention of, basically, everyone. He has always had unmatched visuals, an unique sense of humor, charisma, intelligence, morals. It took you such a long time to build your trust on him and on your relationship, because in the beginning, you’d compare yourself to everyone who approached him, scared he’d realize he could do so much better with other people, who were prettier, smarter, funnier than with you. Does he really need you to say that you just got scared all over again?

“Why didn’t you come find me when you came back, ______-ssi, like you promised?” He stressed the last word out as he spoke slowly, clearly annoyed by your silence.

“Things… changed”, you declared hesitantly, taking the easy road on your way to avoid focusing this too much on your feelings. “Haven’t they?”

“Not for me”, he replies without even wincing, then he adds. “Why? Have they changed for you?”

They haven’t, actually. You wish you could just tell him everything, like you used to. Just let him know how you really feel, how insecure you felt all the times you thought about calling him or even going after him in person. But how could you? Time does, in fact, change things. As much as two people wish for things to stay the same, they hardly ever do. 

What you really wanted after all these years was just to throw yourself into Seokjin’s arms and find the comfort no one else has been able to give you ever since. If only he knew how much you craved him and how difficult it was to be inside of your car right now, where his perfume filled the whole space and almost made you intoxicated with longing. 

You wish you were a little more selfish, so you’d just ignore the fact that everything happened the way it did and just throw yourself into his arms, not giving a shit about what comes next. 

But you aren’t selfish, at least, not when it comes to Kim Seokjin.

With your mind racing, you hesitate before you’re able to form a coherent sentence in your brain and he notices.

“Ok, I see how it is, ______”, his head snaps in your direction again, even though you got your eyes focused on the road, you feel his eyes on you. “You’re seeing someone, aren’t you? Of course you are, for fuck’s sake. Of course you’ve found someone after all these years…”

If only he knew you’d compared every guy you met all this time to him, he’d laugh so hard, he’d probably get hiccups. You haven’t been able to establish true connections with anyone else ever since you left him, unlike him, who’s been involved in several dating rumors during these past few years. You know because you read all of the details from every single one of them, while the only dates you had ended up being on night stands with random guys you met in bars.

“No, I’m not”, you coldly reply, turning your face into his direction for a split second, just to see the surprise taking over his face.

“You’re not seeing anyone, then?” He allows the words to roll off his tongue slowly, repeating the question he asked you a few seconds ago, only this time the disbelief was obvious in his tone. 

“No”.

Seokjin crosses his arms in front of his chest and breathes through his nose loudly. Maybe this was as uncomfortable to him as it was to you. You just couldn’t wrap your head around why he’d want to do this after all this time, both of you had said everything there was to be said back then. There just isn’t a reason for you to go through this all over again, fortunately, you aren’t far from his hotel now. You soon would be away from him all over again, safely hidden at your hotel room, where you could cry all night long, until the gigantic lump in your throat disappeared. Mostly because you’d try to forget about it with a relatively expensive bottle of wine.

After a brief moment of silence, he starts again.

“I just… Need to hear you saying why”, he turned to you as he spoke and it sounded like he was on the verge of crying.

Knowing you made him suffer has been something that prevented you from sleeping every once in a while and a lot of times you ended the nights hating yourself for it. You hate yourself for causing all of this. You just wish life was easier, you wish you could have everything you want, you wish you could have had a brilliant career and Seokjin at the same time.

After all these years, the truth is he doesn’t need you anymore. He’s famous, he can have anyone he wants. You just wish he could understand that and that it was the sacrifice you decided to make on his behalf. You want him to be happy, not stuck with you and your unexciting academic career. 

“I really don’t know, Seokjin. There’s no… specific reason, I guess”, you gazed at him as you summoned the strength to continue. “I just think it doesn’t make sense to me anymore”.

It obviously is harder than you think, because you know none of it is true. You’re just a coward, you just avoided him these two past years, because you were scared of being permanently dumped. You guess you preferred the what if, than to really just let Seokjin go. You were not ready to let him go, he’s always been your haven, your safe place, even after the two of you broke up. He’s your favorite memory.

And it was better to have his memory untouched, than spoiling it with real life and getting dumped because he was having the time of his life as a famous actor, fucking god knows who.

“What doesn’t make sense?” He queries you almost in a whisper.

“Us”, you reply in the same tone. It takes every ounce of strength in you, but you lie again.

You don’t see it, but his eyes darken the minute your words meet his ears like a sucker punch to his stomach. 

He takes in a deep breath and seconds later, your car is filled with his low, deeper voice.

“So, you’re saying that everything we lived together, everything we shared… The promises both of us made to each other… None of it makes sense to you anymore?”

Judging by the way he just asked you this, you were slowly starting to realize that, perhaps, it all still makes sense to him, just like it still makes sense to you. Perhaps, he’s been waiting for you to return, like you promised. Just like Haewon and Hoseok had foreseen it, but you refused to believe it. Because you are a fucking coward, the worst kind. You lie to people and you lie to yourself in a desperate attempt to protect your pride. 

It was far too late to change your mind now. Specially, after the way he spoke to you now. You know he’s deeply hurt and things will, in fact, never be the same again. 

You can’t even think about anything to say. You aren’t mentally able to tell him again that you think your history simply doesn’t make sense, the kind of love you and Seokjin have for each other doesn’t just stop making sense.

“You know what, ______-ssi? Nevermind” He breaks the silence, but his voice is still a little louder than just a whisper. “I thought I could do this, but it’s impossible to have this type of conversation like this. Can you please stop this car!? I’ll call myself an Uber”.

“What?” You ask him, dumbfounded. “I’m not gonna just drop you on the side of the road, we’re almost there-”.

“I’ll be fine”, he cuts you off dryly and louder than before. “I’ve been fine without you these past seven years of my life, it’s not like I need you anyways”.

Okay, you deserve to hear that. Your brain goes into code red and you’re very happy that you’re a good driver, because you know you can’t fully function right now. You open your mouth in an attempt to argue against his request, but no sound comes out of it. 

“Seriously, ______. Stop this car”, he demands, this time around. 

Your feet automatically hit the brakes, just like he told you to, stopping the car by the sidewalk. You’re still taking it all in. You imagined this wouldn’t end well, but you even surprised yourself with how bad it actually ended, all thanks to you, of course.

“Please, just send my baggage to my room when you get there”, he sneers, his eyes glued on your figure and you can’t muster up the courage to look into his eyes.

He opens the door and gets out of your car calmly, then closes the door delicately. That’s the scariest part of it all, Seokjin is the confronting type, he doesn’t take shit from people and he didn’t even want to continue talking with the conversation, there was no closure. He just cut you off. He couldn’t bear being in the same space as you. Saying the shit you said was probably the final nail to this coffin and as much as you hate admitting it to yourself, you were the one who dug this grave. You followed his figure with your eyes as he distanced himself from your car, not even once looking back.

He is now totally free to move on with his life, as he’s supposed to. He’s rich, beautiful, talented, charismatic, funny, relevant, famous. You don’t belong with him anymore and that’s fine. Some people aren’t made to be together and it is fine.

It actually isn’t fine, not at all, but you’ll learn how to live with it. You’re just happy to know he’ll live his life to the fullest now, after burying his past with you. 

Lucky you driving has calming effects on you, so you play your sad girl vibe playlist and drive back to your place, as tears rolled down your cheeks.

© seokjins-luigi, 2023

[whysamwhy123]

Seeing as I'm not going to ever write it now due to Recent Events, I've decided to babble on here about this terrible idea I had for a big, elaborate comedy/crack fic. If I had been able to pull it off, I would have wanted to post it on either Halloween or April Fools Day because it's very much supposed to be dumb. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Keeping with my inability to come up with good titles, it was tentatively called ''Who Killed Tony Khan? A Hookhausen Mystery!''. At a company party where most of the AEW roster are gathered, Tony's giving a speech where he makes a mean joke about Danhausen, who decides to curse him. Tony then promptly dies on the spot, so now everyone thinks Danhausen is a murderer, no matter how much he insists the curse wasn't supposed to do that. He swears he's innocent. But no one's convinced. Other than Hook, that is. Naturally, Hook wants to clear the name of the man he loves so he and Danhausen have to team up once again, put on their detective hats and try to figure out what really happened to their boss and who's the true culprit. So the whole fic would have been a goofy romp with these two looking for clues, interrogating their co-workers and slowly piecing together the mystery. Obviously, it's not gonna happen now - I probably wouldn't have written it anyway because I'm nowhere near talented or smart enough to write a compelling mystery, but given the Stuff That's Happened recently, the whole inciting incident to that story now seems a lot less goofy and a lot more...distasteful. Plus, the dumb joke I was going to make at the end as a way to Deus Ex Machina the conflict away wouldn't work at all now (if you're curious, DM me about it, but fair warning, it's probably not funny to anyone other than me. And it's outdated now, anyway.)

Also...there were gonna be so many cocaine jokes in this fic. Like, enough that you could have made a drinking game out of it...

The thing is though...I still really want to write some kind of Hookhausen mystery fic! I don't know why but I really like the idea of Hook getting dragged into a situation so out of his element (like solving a fucking murder case - not exactly something in his usual wheelhouse) but willingly throwing himself into it because he just has to clear Danhausen's name. Why, yes, Acts of Service is one of my love languages, how did you know? So the more extreme examples of that, the better!

Hell, maybe I go even more out there and make it some kind of Film Noir AU. Hook as this young but still hard-boiled private eye, roped into some strange criminal plot with a heavy supernatural twist, thanks to Actual Demon Danhausen. I don't know, I just love dumb stuff like that, feels like it could be fun to play around with *shrugs*

[shivunin]

DID I SEND CHARACTERS ALREADY? I can’t remember but I’m gonna do it (again)

Leliana, Bethany, and Josie??

Nope, but good picks! c: And thank you for asking, Zen!

(Character Ask thing)

Leliana:

First impression: I started Inquisition first, so: ooh badass spy lady, I'm into it

Impression now: The same, but I love the dimension that playing Origins gives her character (+ Leliana's song). To see her go from this devil-may-care character to a woman who is trying her best to be virtuous, then the Left Hand of the Divine to her ending in Inquisition (hardened/unhardened, Divine/not Divine) is all so fascinating. We get so much scope in her character and I think it's fantastic.

Favorite moment: I think my favorite line for her is the bit about shoes in the Winter Palace, where she talks about everything she can sort of interpret based on the woman's buckles. It's such an interesting insight into her thought process

Idea for a story: I have a half-written scene with her and Salshira in the Josie/Salshira universe where she helps arrange passage to the duel with Lord Otranto and I think it's really fun!

Unpopular opinion: I know people generally think it's not canon/ridiculous, but I think Fade Ghost Leliana is so goddamn funny. She came back from the ether to work a 9 to 5 for the church. Like what?? She fought her friend to the death over a jar of ashes and dragon's blood and then she was like, well, okay, but what if there was an epilogue?? It's so funny. So so funny.

Favorite relationship: Leliana and Shmooples. I want more Leliana and Shmooples content. She loves that little fella so much and I want to know what their day to day is like. (but I am also interested in how Josie and Leliana became friends; she is so protective of Josie in a way she isn't toward anyone else and it is really really interesting to me)

Favorite headcanon: Leliana and Zev are buddies and stay in touch. I saw a comic a while ago of him leaving gifts/notes for the other companions and I find the headcanon so delightful. I like to imagine he's how Leliana actually tracked down the Hero of Ferelden.

Bethany:

*I want to preface this by saying that I have not even once played 2 with a non-mage, so I haven't spent a ton of time around Bethany.

First impression: Oh, cool, you get siblings in this one!

Impression now: Let Bethany say fuck. For the love of God, let Bethany say fuck

Favorite moment: I am so sorry, I can't think of anything specific T.T I do think her dialogue with a romanced Sebastian in the Legacy DLC is funny.

Idea for a story: In my magician AU, Bethany is in a coma. I have loosely plotted a part in this AU where she wakes up and is able to express some of that anger about the role she had in her family.

Unpopular opinion: Idk if this qualifies, but I would like to have the option to choose which sibling dies in the intro sequence (no hate to Carver) so I can have my cake and eat it, too (be a mage and also hang out w Bethany)

Favorite relationship: Isabela sending Bethany naughty books in the Circle cracks me up, so those two.

Favorite headcanon: I like to imagine she and Wen hang out if she is a Warden (and have some version of a "don't you ever just want to lose it?" conversation)

Josephine: (light of my life!!!)

First impression: Oh my goodness she is so pretty 🥺

Impression now: Same. But also, if there is one individual person I would not piss off from Inquisition, it's Josie. Everyone else will just kill you---maybe take a bit doing it, but ultimately they would kill you. Josie?? Josie could wipe your family history off the map if she wanted. She could ruin everyone who ever helped you. And yet! she also goes out of her way to be kind to the Inquisitor even if un-romanced. I love that she stays herself throughout the events of the game.

Favorite moment: The Otranto duel. Oh my goodness. The drama! The romance! Josie not wanting the Inquisitor in harm's way, but also so relieved to be with them openly! My little romantic's heart can't take it.

Idea for a story: The uh. The Otranto duel with her and Salshira. Salshira having no idea how to fight with a sword but learning as much as she can on the boat over. Going in knowing she can't win and knowing she's going to do it anyway because Josie (clever, beloved Josie, who is home to her even though she wasn't looking for one) is worth it to her. She is worth being loud and vulnerable about her affection and she is worth fighting for. The relief of getting to hold Josie in public, with everyone watching, and swing her around in happiness---just like their dance at the Winter Palace, but a thousand times more joyful (I totally haven't thought about this at all...)

Unpopular opinion: Josie has never done anything wrong ever. I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion or not, but that's just facts.

Favorite relationship: Josie and Bull---like what is going on there, Josie???

Favorite headcanon: Josie sharing her doll collection with her love <3 (this isn't even a headcanon, I just realized as I wrote it, it's just like. a fic idea. ah well.)

[nameification]

3, 5, 10, 19 for the edgy oc ask meme for any ocs of your choice (mix and match as desired) :3

fuck yeahhhh les go (IGOT UR 2ND ASK EHEHEHEHEHEHE LES GOO)

3. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

ooooooo I think. I think I'll go with Alazea cause she's got A Lot of emotional baggage. The Commander works for this too hang on

okay so Alazea is like. her first impressions are meant to be "obedient right hand" bordering on lap dog (to The Commander) and she's very typically Angry (which contrasts her assigned virtue of Patience). But like. she's also very emotionally repressed and yes very starved of attention

and at the beginning she is all "This is all for the Greater Good I'm gonna get a Good Grade in Fighting The Space Aliens which is totally normal and possible to achieve." but it moves on more to "I've been so cruel I've pushed away everyone who saw me for who I truly was and responded in kind." and its. sdjkldsdhhd

She always knew she was just that little bit cruel. And she always thinks she came to that epiphany too late.

The Commander, however, is a much more jaded version of this. He's the one who made dealings with the Astrax, he's the one who "pulled the trigger" in Simon's execution, he's the one who sacrificed the world for his fucking girlfriend (and then eventually ascension to godhood) except with time he stopped caring about his girlfriend and became more and more inebriated with the power

And he knows this. He knows he's a piece of shit and there are times where he has his moments of clarity but overall he knows he's fucked it and that it's too late for any reformations.

5. How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

ooooooo okay obviously. The Commander. He's willing to sacrifice the whole world for his (ex)girlfriend and his own godhood. But I guess Elisa also counts. She basically irminsul'd all knowledge relating to the Vices with the exceptions of a few people to basically go deserter. The only evidence the Vices existed as a task force is the fact that there is a blank spot in the databases regarding a "Sister Task Force" to the 7✧Virtues Task Force and context clues and slow, purposeful leaks of information had let the people even know that the 7✧Vices once existed

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

OKAY honestly I think an au where Elisa went to uni before she got recruited would be funny just cause it would be like "Hi Professor I will not be attending classes for the next three days because I will be going to space can I submit the assignment like. a little bit later." Cause canonically she got swooped in right before she got to go to university and this one is mainly crack cause I just think it'd be funny

BUT ALSO au where Simon's soul didn't atomize in his execution and he still got to "live" but he definitely still would have to come back Wrong. you can't escape from fucking atom bombs no matter how much empress theresa you read

19. How does your OC behave when enraged?

Dehlia (cause she's Wrath) goes like. when she gets mad she gets mad mad and she likes to blow off steam by either going ham on actual Astraxis Formations or a (very well-worn) training dummy

Vienna's rage is very much. gamer rage but when they are fully enraged they literally need to "cool down" by standing in the cold for a few minutes or just soaking in a body of water for an hour. They like just chilling in the water when sobrang inis

The Commander knows he can just spout empty threats at whoever is making him angry and they won't fuck with him any further

hmmmm thas all I can think of right now thank you sososmuch I'll start with ur other ask like. right now

[donotpercieveme123]

If nobody asked for him yet, Izuna for the ask prompt because I can’t get enough of him. And I’m going to throw a new one at you (only if you want to!) : Naori

Thx for the ask <3 and sorry for taking so long to answer😅 life kept happening or I kept forgetting.

I'll answer both. It's gonna be long so I'll put it under a cut and apologies in advance lol

Izuna

First impression

Didn't really have much of an impression of him watching the series I won't lie. I guess I thought he looked like Sasuke but NO WHY ARE YOU STANDING IN THE WAY OF PEACE?! Did think he would have had a lot of potential if they actually bothered to give him a shred of personality tho. And aside from wanting so so so much more about him and Madara, I also low key really wanted to see more of him and Tobirama because come on! The chemistry was there and they were obviously presented as parallels and foils of each other. I wanted more violence and I wanted it to be personal. Also them interacting as kids was kind of really cute (the way they knew each other's name) but also really heartbreaking seeing how fckn big those swords looked

Impression now

He was right about everything. But if ppl think Tobirama was bad Izuna would have been worse. On purpose.

He is just SKSJJSJSZB!! Best, most interesting, fun and heartbreaking and compelling and perfect character!! The layers, the grief, his importance!!

I won't lie his character is almost entirely made by the fandom and I don't even agree with or like the vast majority of the interpretations, but God I would kill everyone in this room then myself if I don't see him happy or in pain or perfectly collected and impartial but murderous and covered in blood and so fucked up beyond belief but still holding everything and everyone together despite the way every loss and failure kills him over and over again until he's lost all sense of himself outside of his duty and the people he failed. JDJDHXHXXXHXH HIMMMM!! Just imagine the moment any shred of child like hope he used to have was completely shattered and he became entirely nihilistic, angry and bitter, but also leaving him craving the peace he knows is impossible.

Also he so has eldest daughter, middle child energy

Favourite moment

It was pretty funny when he punched Tobirama in the face ngl

Also the way he reacted to another kid possibly being stronger than his big brother!😱 Djjdhd I can't breathe!! His little face!! He deserves everything good in the world

Idea for a story

Oh boi oh boi do you just want a never ending list of all my wips?

Literally endless endless possibilities so idk which to pick, where to start or how I'd ever stop talking lol

Literally anything and everything from back story and character analysis fics, to crack, to dark smut and graphic violence, to wholesome bittersweet found family. And that's not even touching the endless possibilities AUs would open up!!!

Unpopular opinion

As needed and honestly refreshing as the 'canon accurate' take on his personality is, I don't really think I like it all that better. It's honestly kind of boring and it reduces him to a narrative plot or some vague object in someone else's story that can be placed to the side and completely forgotten about or ignored. I find it takes everything that's significant and interesting about him then sucks everything else that would give him a fully fledged and compelling personality right out of it. I'm as tired as the next person by a lot of fandom interpretations but he doesn't need to be reduced to the human equivalent of a perfectly square, perfectly blank piece of paper. His role, importance, actions and convictions within the narrative aren't remotely changed if he's allowed to have layers of messy, gritty complexity. They'd become more fleshed out if anything. Let my man have a messy personality, please! I need something to sink my teeth into and tear apart like a chew toy!

Favourite relationship

It's literally impossible to pick just one so here are the ones I cycle through as the mood takes me.

MADARAAAA, I would actually kill for more gen uchiha siblings content! They're just- yh I don't even need to explain!

But also in that same vein HIKAKU!!!! Only child Hikaku adopting Izuna as his little brother after all his cousins are killed. Them working better together and having more in common with each other than with Madara a lot of the time (despite Madara initially being the glue that brought them together). Then the grief and blame after Izuna dies and jdndndndb!!!!

Similarly but on a different note NAORI!!!!!!! Platonic soulmates all the fckn way! Just them being best friends since childhood (probably the only stable and healthy relationship, that is only a touch codependent, that Izuna has ever had). Also I love the idea of the wlw mlm solidarity of having kids together because madara refused to procreate. And don't let me get into how Izuna's death affects her!

But also TOBIRAMA ALL DAY EVERY FCKN DAY!! They’re so perfect, the way they respect and hate one another for everything they represent and how much of themselves they see in the other, and the violent possessiveness born of it. But also the way they would fit and work together so well, how they see the possible friendship in the other and it only makes them more adamant about wanting the other dead. But also soft healthy friendship that's fun and bittersweet, especially as kids, and hdhdbxbx- No more needs to be said really

Favourite headcanon

God there r so many! But I love the thought of him having a younger sister who's somewhere between tobirama, itama and izuna in personality. And he got his sharingan after seeing her die at the hands of bloodline thieves, which he never stops blaming himself for. It massively shapes his unhealthy and somewhat obsessive need to keep everyone and everything together and safe. Not to mention the way he takes failure so personally.

(Thank you sm for asking for her btw!)

Naori

First impression

Her plotline was weird as hell tho, and it would have been cooler if she was around during the founders era

Really liked her right off the bat! Thought she had a cool design, amd loved her personality and the mediator role she played. Also loved the way she seems genuinely powerful and well respected, and how put together and kind but stern she was. True infj lol

Impression now

Same impression really, + my own ideas and backstory sprinkled in. For example, she's a lot more cynical than she present herself. I love the idea of her growing bitter after Izuna's death but coming out the other side better than say Hikaku because she still had people she needed to remain tender for.

Favourite moment

Idk the way she was introduced was pretty cool. Girl boss play ur mind games!

Idea for a story

I'd love to write anything after Izuna's death and the founding of Konoha.

Also I have zero fckn clue what her backstory was even about so I wanna rework that. I'm thinking a small group of Uchiha growing paranoid as Madara did and trying to assasinate Tobirama. Having accepted the reality they were now stuck in she makes it her mission to keep everything running smoothly and do damage control where necessary. (All for the benefit of the clan tho. She never actually accepts the will of fire and she would be the first to be able to say 'I told you so' when war breaks out again). So anyway, Tobirama agrees to let her peacefully deal with them as a 'show of trust' to any other Uchiha who might follow, but it still makes him weary of them as a whole regardless.

Unpopular opinion

Not a fan of her being written in to be shipped with whatever male character just so they can have a straight love interest. I want her to have motivations, a story, and complex thoughts and feelings outside that. That's how she was introduced in the first place! But idk if that's actually unpopular lol

Favourite relationship

Of course Izuna! Aside from what I mentioned in his bit I also like to think that they shared the same views about how the clan should be run, and especially about peace (as a whole vs peace with the Senju). And alongside being a genjutsu master and being well respected on the battlefield, I like to think that she had an affinity for healing, and she woke her Mangekyou after Izuna died because she felt responsible for not being able to save him.

But also Hikaku!!! After Madara leaves she's the only person Hikaku still has around, and despite both being two of Izuna's closest people, they only really get close after that. After he officially takes over as clan head she essentially also steps into the role Izuna had as Madara's 'right hand'. Which basically means that for all intents and purposes they lead the clan together.

Favourite headcanon

Tobirama came to her about the police force and despite hating his guts for killing Izuna they worked together. She founded the police force with her wife and had a hand in the way the anbu was initially structured. Tobirama first went to her out of guilt (and because Hikaku was more outwardly hostile lol), but over the years she became someone he deeply respected and who's advice he sought out. And despite never fully forgiving him the respect was mutual.

[chronicalchaos]

Wick modern AU: Explained +Some fun facts

Uhm, i was gonna wait until i finish this AU's synopsis and new book cover, but both will be taking a while until they get ready...

And i wanted to post this "overview" for a while now, anyways, here's some fun facts and a summary of the story:

Old book cover:

I'm really proud of Sam's shading, but the twins look weird and Tom looks old...I won't use this cover, 'cus Travis and Duncan are main characters as well and i want to include them on the cover. +My art style changed!

Story summary:

Just a quick thing! I changed quite a few things to fit the narrative and the modern days setting, i hope you understand!

The story of this AU happens in September 2014, a little less than a month until Sam’s birthday, where the Weavers aren't dead– Well, most of them aren't...

The narrative is centered on a curse, that was based on the audio that plays when you pick up Benny's bible, where 7 people are affected by it: Tim, Tom, John, Sam, John's brother/Sam's dad(I won't name him), Mary and James.

Sam's, Travis' and Duncan's side of the story will be more on the investigative side maybe with a bit of comedy(I'm not good with writing that, so it will most likely be just investigation), while Tim and Tom's side will be the more angst and unusual/horror side. Sam will have a bit of horror as well, since he's linked with them by the curse, but the twins will definitely have the spotlight when it comes to horror/unusual stuff.

Fun Facts:

General:

The story happens a week, maybe a bit more, after summer break

Even tho one of the first chapters is set on school, them going to school will probably just be mentioned or implied, Example: Them leaving a school bus

For some reason, i saw a few stories where everyone knew what polio is and how it works, which i felt it wouldn't be realistic, so that won't happen here

It has a lot of paranormal stuff

The summer camp by the Weaver's property is closed and has been like that for a few years now

Just Mary and James call the twins Changelings, the rest of the city knows there are "changelings" walking around, just, not that the twins are them

There's no changelings, they think there is, but in reality it's just a curse(like that's something lighter than a demon switched with a child at birth)

The song that helps me get in the mood of this story when I'm writing is "Far too young to die" by Panic! At the disco

Timas Weaver:

Tim is 12, he'll be 13 in...approximately 3 months

He was born December 30th 2001 and is the oldest between him and Tom

He's almost an inch shorter than Tom

He has a huge burn scar! It goes from a bit more than half of his chest, both his arms, his palms and his whole neck, he got that scar when he was 3 years old

He's does not have asthma, but he does have extreme pyrophobia on it's place

He has flat affect, his face doesn't match his emotions/he looks serious most of the time(I'm so sorry if I don't portrait it right! Please give me constructive criticism if I do something wrong here!)

He's a theater kid and would be quoting a lot of musicals if Mary didn't isolate him and Tom from the world(The theater part only exists because of his and Tom's masks)

The whittling thing exists here, but like, it won't be of much importance to the story, the knife will! But not the whittle part

He despises spiders and it's Tom's fault!

He climbs trees (there's not much I can say here to be honest)

He has this...i don't know if you can call it a quirk, but, he tends to tilt his head to the left, it's kinda random

He's ambidextrous, was left handed, but Mary forced him to learn to use his right hand

He teached himself how to throw knifes...don't mess with him

Paranoia!

Needs therapy

Tomathy Weaver:

Tom is 12 and will be 13 in approximately 3 months

He was born December 30th 2001 and is the youngest between him and Tim

He's almost an inch taller than Tim

He doesn't have Polio now, he did when he was...around 5 years old

His left leg is bigger than his right one, his right feet reaches his left ankle

His left ankle is paralyzed, that's why he uses a leg brace

He's claustrophobic, he developed that on the same day Tim got his scar and pyrophobia

He won first place on a spelling bee before he got Polio and he used to spell when he got anxious, but after John's disappearence he started shuddering, shaking and cracking his joints instead, very similar to how he shudders on the game

He loves spiders!

He is really flexible, but, because of his polio, he can't play around with it anymore

He likes to draw

He has pretty bad scoliosis

Paranoia #2!

Socially awkward baby

Went to therapy when little, needs to go back

Caleb Weaver:

Caleb is 9 years old

He was born August 19th 2005

He's almost the same height as Timas

He was a year old when Tom had polio

He's actually James' kid, not John's

He won first place in 2014's(the year the story happens) county track meet

He dislikes Tim

Lillian Weaver:

Lillian is 5 years old

She was born February 28th 2009

She's a bit tall for her age

She's notorious for making little deals between her and her siblings, like helping them get away with something in exchange of something(getting her out of class during their recess, buying a new plushy, etc.)

She's a really curious and affectionate kid, loves hugs, kisses and especially being picked on someone's lap

She loves bunnies(even tho this isn't a surprise)

Benjamin Weaver:

Benjamin is 14 years old and will be 15 in less then a month

He was born October 24th 1999

He's just really tall compared to the twins (it's kinda funny, Tim and Tom are 4 years older than Caleb, but they are just an inch taller than him)

He's really religious and prays a lot for his siblings' health and safety

He's been trying to take care of Tom after John's disappearence, since Mary doesn't do it, much the opposite, she hides Tom's medicines on purpose

Mary Weaver:

I didn't give her neither an age nor a birthday...i probably need to do that

She had an affair with James, when the twins were 4 and Benny was 6, Caleb was born from this affair

She doesn't hit any of her kids, but she does neglect most of them

On the nights between Saturday and Sunday, she doesn't sleep, she spends this time praying with a candle, then, before they go to church, she writes everything that happened that night on her diary

She has a lot of diaries, she keeps them in the attic

She's a little bitch(i don't know what else to say about her)

Pastor James McAlroy:

James also doesn't have an age nor birthday (i only have the Weaver kids and Sam's birthdays)

He won't appear much, but he does have a big role on the story

He's Caleb's biological dad(i mentioned that like 3 times already)

He tried doing a "honest-to-god exorcism" on the twins, it was just a cover for an attempt of murder

He's a toxic little shit(there's not much I can say about him)

Samuel Burton:

Sam is 12 years old and will be 13 in less than a month

He was born in October 2nd 2001

Him and Travis are Brothers on their mom's part

He's cousin with the Weavers, minus Caleb, they just don't know each other

He can be just as smug as Travis sometimes

He absolutely hates going on ghost hunting, he thinks it's dumb

He has long hair and freckles all over his body

He's just too lazy to tie his own shoes

He's the only one that remembers to bring a backpack when ghost hunting

While Travis is the camera man, he's the flashlight guy

Travis Burton:

Travis is 15 years old and i don't have a birthday for him, well, he would be born in 1999 just like Benny

He doesn't like wearing glasses, but doesn't have other choice, he either doesn't take proper care of his lenses and gets his eyes irritated or he just lost them

He's the face of his and Duncan's channel

He tries to drag Sam to be part of the channel, but he doesn't really want to be part of it

He cusses way too much

He's brave, only because he goes face first into danger without thinking

Duncan:

Duncan is 15 and would also be born in 1999

Big ass coward, sends Travis and Sam to go investigate on his place every fucking time

Entitled as fuck

The "brain" behind his and Travis' channel

He's suspiciously good on researching, he'll find the most unexpected things about you

He's a little shit as well

...i think that's it! Now i can go continue the first chapter and maybe finish it soon

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 12

post directory

obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but

obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”

obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like

obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”

obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed

obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums

em: sighs wistfully

em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately

em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex

em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....

obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”

em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable

obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi

obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”

em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)

obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny

obsetress: (she is a little funny)

em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments

obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”

em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused

obsetress: skskksksks right

obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards

obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”

em: i need a moment

em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t

em: dani can feel her heating up

obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”

em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: i’m dying

em: dani: oh no that’s OOC

obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—

em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure

em: dani hums

obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it

obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?

obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah

em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame

obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble

---

em: viola

obsetress: fuck

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: to jamie, specifically,

em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd

em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi

—-

obsetress:

obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like

obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate

---

em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like

em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)

obsetress: god i love that so much

obsetress: both of those dani responses are

obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc

obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw

em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35

em: big brain

—-

obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca

obsetress: down to the caption

obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort

---

em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho

em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability

em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho

obsetress: lmao ikr

obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other

obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um

obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with

obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"

obsetress: and just like

obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night

em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again

obsetress: the parallels to canon

obsetress: im giggling

obsetress: walks straight into her path

em: opens a door. sees something she doesn’t want to see. immediately turns and walks away

em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"

em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them

obsetress: god yeah

em: flip of that.

obsetress: oh GOD

em: god they would argue about dinner

em: bicker about EVERYTHING

em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke

em: jamie goes pale

obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like

obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like

obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............

em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours

obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason

obsetress: she's just scared of dani

em: Please

obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"

obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"

obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is

em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf

obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"

em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd

em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person

obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx

obsetress: i screeched

em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-

obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding

em: bringing out some lemonade etc

em: haha you look parched

obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm

obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing

obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism

em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother

em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi

obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,

em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve

em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry

em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even

obsetress: i––

em: she decides against it

em: jamie is none the wiser

obsetress: she Considers it tho

em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew

obsetress: weighs the pros and cons

obsetress: the best part is like

obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store

obsetress: viola's like wait.

obsetress: wait

obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae

em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like

em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy

em: because lesbians are just... like that

---

obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward

em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont

em: i am thinking about it

em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two

em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,

obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known

obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"

em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-

em: SCREAMED

obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf

em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me

obsetress: jamie's already big blushing

em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it

em: patreon exclusive exes au au

[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]

obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted

em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...

em: puffs out her chest

em: i could have-

em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u

obsetress: dani clayton ilu

em: danis like um

em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me

em: danis like i did tho

em: jamies like can you DROP IT

em: she’s SMUG

em: she’s so pleased w herself

obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought

obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"

obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about

em: dani never lets jamie live it down

obsetress: never!

obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"

em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but

em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter

em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart

obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf

obsetress: the gold star

em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it

em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized

obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm

obsetress: glad those two found each other

em: two praise kinks u say

em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like

em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like

em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-

em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm

em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care

em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing

em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed

obsetress: SCREAMS

obsetress: you got willoughby'd

obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend

em: yeah same asking for a friend

obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?

obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)

obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all

em: to be fair perdi is the Worst

em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd

em: it’s funnier if she’s awful

em: like a viola that never gets therapy

obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same

obsetress: it's too good

em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen

em: makes a silly little chart

em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave

em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie

em: also i didn’t fuck perdi

obsetress: skskskflsdflks

obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."

em: skgsdjhdkdhdk

em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like

em: CLAPS her hands in glee

obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ

obsetress: GOD

obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi

em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway